
This is an Author Toolbox post. Created and hosted by Raimey Gallant, this is pure resources and help for you. Come join us!
*Sings* Do you want to write a romance?

Yeah, I apologize for that Frozen reference.
If you do, you’re in good company. Millions of books published every year. Thousands of authors. HUGE part of the market share.
But, where to start? How is a romance different from any other fiction novel? What defines “romance”?
At the basic level: A romance novel tells the story of the romantic relationship evolving between people.
That’s all. That’s it. When you get right down to the nitty-gritty center of it, this is the difference between a romance novel and any other fiction. Other genres can (and almost always do) *contain* a relationship, but a romance novel *is* the story of that relationship. Seems simple, right?
How is that different from any other book when I’m writing my romance book?
First off, the plot points will be different. SUPER SIMILAR, let’s get that straight, but not identical.
Other books have a fiction formula (try Save the Cat! Writes a Novel) which is totally malleable but still follows some basic steps. Exposition Opening-Inciting Incidents-Obstacles! Rising Action-Midpoint-Challenges Growing-Climax-Resolution. That’s severely oversimplified but we’re pressed for time here. Basically, the structure is plot oriented. The characters have goals, things get in the way, they conquer those things and move to their ending.
Romance has its own endlessly variable formula (try our original scripture, the beat sheet by author Jami Gold). Inciting Incident when lovers meet-Obstacles! Rising Action as relationship grows-Midpoint-Challenges Growing-Oh God More Obstacles Our lovers are doomed!-Climax-Resolution. Here, the structure is relationship oriented. The characters have a relationship forming, things get in their way, they conquer those things together and move to their usually happy ending.
Right. Okay. So, an entire book focused on one relationship? What kind of obstacles can I find for that?
Oh I’m so glad you asked. This is the reason tropes exist, and I love me some repeated themes in literature. For my own convenience, I’ve separated the romance tropes into two types. For a huge curated list, Mindy Klasky has you covered. Check out these examples and then sit back and think for a second of a show, movie, or book you’ve read that contains this trope.
Internal/Personality Driven Tropes
Alpha hero/heroine, Best Friend’s Little Sibling, Cowboy/Billionaire/Cop/Mechanic/Maid (basically the MCs profession drives their plot), Fish Out of Water, Misfit Finds their Niche, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Opposites Attract, Mail Order Bride, Rockstar Romance, Revenge, Mistaken Identity, Unrequited Love, Damaged with a Heart of Gold, Redemption, Returning Home, Second Chance, Redeemed Rogue.
Hint hint, Pride and Prejudice is an enemies to lovers romance.
External/Outside Forces Driven Tropes
MC in Peril (most romantic thrillers), Time Travel, Stranded Together, Forced Proximity, Royalty, Secret Heir to whatever, Orphaned Ward, Marriage of Convenience, Forbidden/Taboo Relationship, Fake Relationship, Fairytale retelling, Rich MC falls for Poor MC from the Wrong Side of the Tracks, Arranged Marriage, Accidental Pregnancy.
Outlander is the most famous time travel romance around right now.
Tropes are an all-you-can-eat buffet of plot ideas. Mix them, match them, use several for one book, use none and make up your own.
The very best romance writers combine the growing relationship with a growing, moving plot like you would find in any other genre. It’s like combining the two into one seamless, engrossing, entertaining whole. Romance authors need to be prepared to do their research and then some extra. Learn story structure, how to write exciting obstacles, plotting, story beats, how to save the cat. And then also learn how to write emotional, believable, evocative relationships that demonstrate character growth. Mush the two together (it must look effortless) and write a book.
Now does it sound so simple?
Not really simple, no. But let’s talk about the fun stuff, S.E. When do we get to the bow-chicka-wow-wow?
*rubs hands together* Step closer, my padawan. Let’s get into the deep, secret, sexy details. Ready? *whispers* Your romance novel doesn’t have to contain any sex. None. Whatsoever. *done whispering because it’s creepy* Your lovers can skip off happily into the sunset holding hands and never doing anything else, if you so choose.
Um, what? Yeah. You heard me. Romance novels don’t automatically have sex in them.
Here are your basic guidelines for sex in your romance novel:
A romance is the story of a relationship evolving between people. Are they at the point in their relationship where sex would be natural and it would move their plot forward? Yes? Go ahead and put it in. Is it not time and the plot will not be changed at all by it? Throw it out.
Like the real life it reflects, sex in romance is incredibly fluid. Not that kind of fluid, get your mind out of the gutter. I meant that the amount and level of detail are all over the map. That being said, there are some definite clues you can find as to how much heat a particular book will put off. Think of these as loose guidelines that the readers, the publishers, and the authors themselves expect, work within, and mostly obey.
Here’s a list of your possible variations. This is a paraphrase of my friend and fellow author Megan Morgan’s excellent breakdown of this exact topic. I really recommend reading her post if you’re interested in more background on the list.
-Sweet/Clean or Christian Romance: There will be no sex and no sex behind the scenes. Possibly some kissing and holding hands, but the only star here is the emotional relationship happening on the page.
-Behind Closed Door/Fade to Black Romance: Some sexual focus, maybe some hot and heavy clothed action, but the actual sex happens “off page”. It’s all implied.
-General Romance: Broad, huge category. Some sex will happen by more than implication, but the amount and how clearly explained it is on the page will vary. The emotional relationship is getting more screen time than the physical and the sex scenes might not be very detailed.
-Erotic Romance: The kind everyone automatically *thinks* is romance (thanks, 50 Shades). The emotional and the physical relationship between characters share about equal time. The sex will be more detailed, certainly with clear, blatant language.
-Erotica: The physical relationship is pretty much the plot. There’s still a story, action is happening, but most of the plot complications are obstacles to our lovers finding a flat surface and getting sticky. The sex will be very detailed, very often, and very hot.
If you’re thinking of writing romance and feeling very uncomfortable with writing the sex, don’t worry. It’s not a requirement and we won’t kick you out of RWA. Come to the dark side. Come join us. And write your own romance.
Most of the novels I read (and edit) are romance or have romantic elements (at the sweet/Christian end of the scale). Your post gives writers a fantastic whistle-stop overview of the genre. Well done!
Thank you! 🙂
Love your descriptions of the different types of romances, especially the finding a flat surface to get sticky on for erotica. 🙂 Great post!!!
Haha, I couldn’t resist!
I write science fiction romance, and I constantly have to check myself for the external conflict and issues don’t overshadow the internal conflicts. Great summary of all the things needed to write romance.
Susan Says
Oh, wow, the level of invention and creativity for sci fi romance is amazing! That’s very cool. I’ll have to go check out your books 🙂 I’m in a reading slump while I wait for the next Ruby Dixon release, maybe you can help me out of it, lol.
Yep. I know some authors who love to write romance. The most I can muster is adding romantic elements. 🙂
Anna from elements of emaginette
Even elements are tricky, and I’m sure you do a good job with it! That’s impressive 🙂
I mostly write YA fantasy, but I’m a sucker for slow burn romances with happily ever afters. Enemies to lovers and fairytale retellings have to be my favourites, and I have a supernatural romance planned for some point in the future 🙂
Thats sounds like so much fun! I can’t wait to hear about it 🙂
Thanks for breaking this down – I don’t generally write romance, so this was a learning curve!
I firmly believe any kind of writing is a learning curve 🙂 It’s so much fun to find the differences.