April 19 Favorites: Fictional Worlds
For this week’s post I wanted to mix it up a little. So I’m making a half-and-half list. Five bookish worlds I would move to tomorrow sign me up, I’m bringing the family, see you later reality!
Then five bookish worlds where I’d last long enough for one good Hollywood scream, and yet, I still love to disappear into them while I read.
First, the top five worlds I would disappear to in an instant if it were somehow possible.
If you tell me you never wanted to live in a world where the animals could wish you ‘good morning’, I will say you sit on a pure throne of lies. Aside from the whole 100 years of winter under the White Witch, Narnia is the place to be. Soft green glens full of fauns, dwarves, and badgers. Forests full of dryads and talking trees. The ocean, with your choice of magical islands for adventures. Mountains, to encounter giants and dragons in. Fens, full of Marshwiggles. EVERY INCH OF IT SOUNDS FABULOUS.
Although I’m a muggle, I would wander around what looks like a ruined castle for days, if it meant I got to have one tiny glimpse of the edge of the Whomping Willow. Just a glimpse. Even a thread of smoke coming from Hagrid’s hut. A little wave from the giant squid in the lake. Anything for a little bit of the magic.
3. Middle Earth
Specifically, the Shire. Something about all that lovely, homey green makes me wish I were there. I could always visit Rivendell, or Rohan, or the Lonely Mountain, but the Shire would be my home. Good neighbors, lots of parties, seeing Gandalf wander by my front door. A cozy hole, visiting dwarves, elevensies, and afternoon tea. Y e s, please.
4. Tamora Pierce’s Tortall
It’s medieval, and I’m okay with that. What with lady knights running around defeating bigotry and evil, magic to modernize certain aspects, and the varied kingdoms to explore (except Scanra, cause NOPE) I think I could get along in Tortall pretty well. Lack of flush toilets, and all. The chance to hang out in a crowd, cheering The Lioness and her Spymaster husband as they rode by, would make any missing plumbing worth it.
5. The Discworld
Anywhere Terry Pratchett writes is alright by me. Plus I feel like I know the Discworld so well I could actually recognize where I was if magic somehow plopped me in Ankh Morpork, or Lancre. I would 100% be down for the opportunity to meet Nanny Ogg or my hero, Granny Weatherwax. And it would be a pure pleasure to watch Lord Vetinari at work. Just to see him steeple those thin fingers before delivering some devastating wit would be worth any trouble I had getting there. (It’s not just me who wants to crack his super-chill shell a little . . . right? THIS IS NOT AN INAPPROPRIATE CRUSH, I am up for the challenge he presents, okay.)
And the five bookish worlds where I would be guaranteed a nice, swift death on or before page five.
Besides the obvious 99.9% death rate for the Games, anyone in the Districts seem to have a pretty low life expectancy anyway. I’d be pretty much guaranteed a one sentence mention as part of a bombed-out, smoking town in this universe.
2. Ketterdam/The Grishaverse
Really bad things seem to happen to . . . well . . . everyone in Leigh Bardugo’s universe. The Grisha might as well walk around with big fat signs saying “HI, I DO MAGIC, PLEASE TRY TO MURDER ME NOW” painted on their backs, they seem to get killed off every other page. And Ketterdam doesn’t sound particularly friendly.
3. The Demon Worlds of Kresley Cole’s Immortal’s After Dark
Apart from the fact that everyone in a Kresley Cole novel gets to have lots and lots of AMAZING sex. Even kinky demon sex is probably not worth the amount of times the immortals get tortured in these books. (Well . . . okay . . . probably.) There are always wars going on, spying and poisoning happening, inter-clan fights, limbs being lopped off and regrown, plus multiple dangerous worlds inhabited by different types of deadly creatures. Super fun to read about; not so fun to live there.
4. Castle Rock, Derry, ‘Salem’s Lot, or anywhere else in Maine
Do I even need to explain why I’d like to avoid: murdery mist, creepy clowns, vicious vampires, possessed and putrescent pets, deranged residents, gift shops out to kill you with your purchases, cars that will crush you, alien infestations, randomized-location goo which will eat you, attics, basements, hotels, closets, toilets, gardens, old wells, houses in general, laundromats, high schools, grocery stores, and pretty much any other place that King created? Literally no place is safe under his pen.
5. Richelle Mead’s Vampire Academy
In this universe, I’d be a light snack before the characters really got down to business. I wonder if I’d be high cholesterol for a strigoi? Like, I’d be happy to think of getting some petty revenge from beyond the grave, I won’t lie. HAHA suck my blood and end up with a heart attack later, losers.
Anyway. I know already that I’m just not dhampir material.
This post was also a previous TTT Post topic from That Artsy Reader Girl. Head over and check out her site if you like the idea of some top ten lists, and then jump on in with the link-up. It’s a lot of fun, I promise!