Since it’s the first Wednesday of May, it must be Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Come join in the fun. We really are all about the support!
Each month there are co-hosts keeping us all on track. This month, we owe our thank you clicks to Feather Stone, Janet Alcorn, Rebecca Douglass, Jemima Pett, and Pat Garcia!
And there’s always a thought provoker of a question you may choose to answer for your post. For May 7th, the question is Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them?
Ah, those undying author fears. Of course rejection isn’t fun, and failure sucks. But would I call those my greatest fears? No. Not anymore. Through the repeated exposure therapy I like to call “The Tunnel of Everlasting Rejection” or “Querying“, I have conquered this particular batch of fears. Was my heart pounding and were my palms sweaty the first time I attached that PDF and hit “submit”? You bet. After the 10th, or 25th, or 50th reply with the words “no” and “not for us” in it, though? The terror has subsided.
Those of us in this group know by now that writing is a hard, scary job. It involves a lot of sticking your neck out, only to have it brutally chopped. We develop what I like to think of as a thick skin when it comes to rejection. It happens, and it happens to all of us. OFTEN. As authors, we become tough and gritty, able to ride the rolling tide of those rejections.
The greater fear, and one I’m still wrestling with, is the nagging conviction in the back of my mind that I have no talent. It’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of speaking harshly to yourself about your ability! I mean, we’re called the Insecure Writers Support Group for a reason, and that reason is we are all in some way insecure. I literally just wrote about the Tunnel of Everlasting Rejection, and I would be flat out lying if I tried to say all of those rejections don’t send you into a spiral of self doubt.
The spiral is real, and it goes deep. So how do I manage to swim with this particular whirlpool down into fear? Humor.
Straight up silliness, and the occasional cussword. It might not work for everyone, but it really works for me. Humor is my reliable coping mechanism. Oh, and gifs. LOTS and lots of gifs. They’re part of the humor. Don’t question it, just let it flow.
I have written an entire post on how to keep going, and make it through this fear. You can click through if you’re interested, but I can also summarize. Developing that needed toughness and grit, using the coping mechanism which works for you, finding your people (like the IWSG!) to support you, and building up a shield for those times when the fear that you’re just no good at writing tries to take over.
As your reward for making it to the end of this post, here is a start for your own Shield of Silly Shenanigans:
10 comments
Love those gifs. Dracula especially. Over and over… simple mind, that’s me.
Yes, I didnt get my short stories accepted last month, and that’s fine. It’s a huge field, and tough competition. Of course the fact that once upon a time I did get an acceptance means that I don’t feel quite so much of a failure each time these days. It would be nice to get one accepted…
You sound like you’ve got this one taped. In theory, at any rate!
In theory!
You’ve accomplished a lot by getting over the fear of rejection. I think worrying we have no talent is a common fear. But I have confidence in your talents. You should too.
That’s very kind of you! It’s also going into my little shield folder, as a small kindness that will help pull me out of future spirals. It means more than you know to have your confidence!
It is easier to be brave and not give up with a crew around you. 🙂
We are not alone.
Anna from elements of emaginette
One of the best, if not THE best part about the IWSG. Teamwork makes our dreams work!
You simply cling to the response of readers who enjoyed what you wrote.
Those responses are definitely one of the major components of my shield!
Left me smiling, sort of, but about that lack of talent …
Fundamental, surely ? Maybe that was what the ‘ family expert’ spotted at once…
Tough and gritty ? Only on long and tough trails, even icy and Alpine, crossing a snow bridge at 4.a.m..
Easy !
Be a writer ? One day, maybe,. if I only had the nerve….
In a way, it’s like ripping off a bandaid. It’s best to just do it, submit the writing, and get it over with. The fear of the rejection is (I think) much worse than the actual rejection itself. And then somehow you’re calmly filing yet another ‘no’ response in your rejections folder without even blinking. It loses its power over you once you’ve been through it!