Friday Favorites is a Smooth Criminal

April 5 Favorite is Fictional Criminals

My friends:

My family:

Strangers on the street:

SE *gets a bullhorn* *climbs up on box*: TAMORA PIERCE IS THE BEST YA FANTASY AUTHOR EVER. And you all should have read her already.

I do keep trying to use other authors for this list, but Tamora just seems to happen. Want a great anti-hero? Pierce. Good solid magic system and thorough worldbuilding? Pierce. Diverse characters facing real-life problems? Pierce. The Power of Friendship™? Yep. Pierce. So I’ve decided to stop fighting it and go with the Pierce-flow.

George Cooper, the King of Thieves

George is an integral part of the Song of the Lioness series by Tamora Pierce. He’s too cocky for his own good, involuntarily sarcastic, rules over a literal den of thieves in Tortall’s capitol city, steals, lies, cheats, and won’t hesitate to kill anyone in his way. You go, George. (Also, call me?)

Have I mentioned how much I adore a really good piece of fanart? This fantastic image of George romancing Alanna (DOESN’T LOOK TOO SAD ABOUT IT, DOES SHE? Seriously, Alanna, you don’t know how lucky you are) is by Minuiko and can be found here on her website, along with other fabulous Tortall art. All credit belongs totally to Minuiko.

Briar Moss (aka Roach)

Briar goes from literal rags to riches throughout the Circle of Magic series by Tamora Pierce. Orphaned at age four, he joins a street gang and steals for them. By the time he’s discovered as an elemental mage at age eleven he’s a pretty fantastic pickpocket and housebreaker who knows lots and lots of ways to survive. Honestly he’s my favorite character in the series and I ship him SO HARD with Tris. It hasn’t happened yet, but that just means I can clutch all the hope with my cold little fingers.

Numair Salmalín, Carthaki’s most-wanted

Wild Mage Series and Tempest & Slaughter, Tamora Pierce

I’m going to argue that yes, Numair fits the literal definition of being a criminal even though he’s the cuddliest, fluffiest, most moral criminal ever. He’s only wanted because the Emperor of Carthak is a NO GOOD VERY BAD VERY SORE LOSER and has a personal vendetta with him but at the end of the day he’s still top of the wanted lists for treason. And don’t try to tell me he never stole a thing while he was on the run as a street magician and starving. He totally did.

George and Fred Weasley

Harry Potter Series, J.K. Rowling

They’re epic and awesome and I love the socks off both of them, but I’m pretty sure it’s not strictly legal to set off pyrotechnics in the middle of a crowded school setting. Or to destroy school property. Or to sneak off campus through secret passageways. Nor is conducting unethical food experiments without permission on fellow students (Hermione had them, there).

Tyrion Lannister

Game of Thrones Series, George R.R. Martin

He undoubtedly has the wittiest quotes, the best character development, and the softest marshmallowy heart of the entire series and I wish so many good things for my poor Tyrion. Love, happiness, acceptance, NOT TO DIE HORRIBLY IN SEASON 8. All the good things. But I can’t deny that dude killed his own father. Patricide, even in Westeros where it’s pretty much an expected daily occurrence? Still not legal.

Margaery Tyrell

Game of Thrones Series, George R.R. Martin

I’m 100% sure that she never would have been caught doing anything criminal . . . and yet also 100% certain she would do anything illegal, anytime, anywhere, with no remorse. The actual charges she’s imprisoned by the Faith Millitant for are trumped up, mostly false, and a total play by Cersei. Because Margaery only gets caught when she damn well wants to be caught. And she never wants to be caught. Her ability to play those around her like violins (psychotic, evil violins, strung with razor wire, sure, but it just makes her maestro abilities that much cooler) is what ought to be criminal. Also, that super attractive little smirk of hers should be against the law.